Wellserton Wanderings

Tom’s orientation began on Friday and only allowed for a one-day weekend this week, so we wanted to make the most of it. At the same time, we were still fighting the jet lag, and Tom had had two days of focused attention as he took in a barrage of information and met a lot of new people. So, this week, “the most” meant a relatively relaxing outing.

We started the day by calling Madesh, the driver recommended by the school. He has a number of drivers who work for him, and they can all be trusted to get you where you want to go when you want to go there. Uber is supposed to be a good alternative, but until we have fully functioning phones with data plans, we can’t use it (and frankly, we’re just not fans of Uber anyway). We requested a 10 am pick-up and said we’d want the driver until mid-afternoon. At 10 am, we met Anand at the gate to our apartment and asked him to take us to Koshy’s downtown (See: Koshy’s). Traffic was really light so we are filing away the notion that Sunday may be the best day for heading into city center.

With a wonderful breakfast behind us, we walked to Cubbon Park, referred to as one of Bangalore’s “lungs”. It’s a lovely green space filled with trees, flowering plants, fountains, and playgrounds. It’s also home to the library (which was hot, silent, and packed with studying students) and surrounded by government buildings. There’s a drive through the center of it, which is closed to cars on Sundays. It’s also apparently closed every day from 5 am to 8 am when the park is kept silent. If it didn’t require a driver to get there, it would be a great spot for early morning meditation.

From there, we returned to UB City to buy Melissa a phone at the Samsung store. The store clerks were all kind and helpful, but strangely insistent that Melissa sit at all times. Any time she stood, to bring a credit card over for example, she was quickly ushered back to her seat and offered water. The intentions were clearly good, but it was a little oppressive. It will be interesting to see if that’s the norm elsewhere as well. Melissa loves her new Galaxy S8 – it’s so pretty and so powerful!

It was now a little before 2 and we called Anand to pick us up, which he did just a short while later. We asked him to take us to a supermarket that we’d read about called Loyal Market, and Tom showed him on his google maps where it is. Anand confidently headed out while Tom followed the route on his phone. When Anand seemed to turn away from it, we were concerned, but he insisted through limited English that he knew where he was going. He actually pulled up at the Royal Mart, sister store to the one we walked to on our first day. Luckily, this was a much bigger store and we accomplished most of our list, including everything we needed to make our own chana masala at home that night. Here, rather than oppressive assistance, the clerks at Royal Mart were incredibly helpful. Every time we had a question, someone was nearby to help. What really got them excited was when we, who were clearly out of our element, made it clear that we didn’t want the chana masala spice blend but the spices to make our own. In addition to the team of clerks, a fellow shopper found the amchur powder for us, as he was clearly enjoying eavesdropping on our quest.

And dinner was delicious! A perfect end to a perfect day.

Moving anywhere new necessitates a period of awkward adjustment. Moving between cities (or even just neighborhoods) in the US means finding your closest grocery store, your closest bank, your new favorite restaurant, your favorite walking path, etc. That’s all true with our move to India, as well, but everything is heightened somehow by our own general bafflement about how to do anything combined with the persistent jet lag fatigue.

We knew on arrival that we had four days to create some semblance of a home before Tom would start full-time orientation at the Canadian International School (CIS), and we were determined to accomplish basic unpacking, initial settling in, and finding our way to key places before then.

Day one (July 31) was challenging. We were exhausted from our 5 am arrival. We had headaches from 30 hours of avoiding caffeine in hopes of sleeping while traveling, and we were generally feeling a bit lost. We quickly set about making coffee and making a plan, using a sticky note system since that was the only paper we could easily find before fully unpacking. In the midst of the planning, the doorbell started ringing, which made showering and dressing suddenly extra important.

At home, the doorbell almost never rings unexpectedly. If it does, it’s probably Jehovah’s Witnesses, kids selling cookie dough, or someone who wants to talk to us about the environment. Here, it rings multiple times a day. The first ring was a woman who handed Tom a newspaper, but whom we otherwise didn’t understand (now we know that she comes every day to pick up garbage, recycling, and food waste and will ring the bell if we don’t put it outside our door for her). The next ring was a lovely young woman offering to clean our apartment (See endnote). She was the first of three to stop by over the course of the first two days, all with references from previous teachers. The third ring was Ranginath from the school, bringing a man to connect our internet. We were expected to select our internet plan based on our home data needs which we don’t know at all. We settled on the top option which will cost less than $24 per month. We can downgrade next month if that seems excessive, but how will we know if it’s excessive? Unfortunately, the internet guy found a problem when he tried to get our internet set up (one of so many things that we didn’t understand) so they told us they’d be back in 20 minutes. Apparently in India, that is not a specific length of time but rather a way to “some time later.”

Over an hour after the internet guy left, we realized that 20 minutes does not mean 20 minutes (we’ve since learned that 2 minutes does not mean 2 minutes either). Desperate to walk about our apartment complex, we left a note on our door and headed out, with a stop to tour the clubhouse with a very friendly security guard. Getting a sense of our immediate surroundings helped tremendously with our feelings of anxious displacement.

When we returned 30 minutes later, there was Ranginath with a big smile, telling us that the internet guy had just headed upstairs. Chatting with Ranginath, we learned that he left school after 10^th grade and speaks five languages, including English which he learned entirely from talking to teachers at the school where he’s worked for the last 12 years. We probably understand about 70% of what he says — enough for the gist, but we miss a lot of the details. We asked him where to buy things we urgently needed, and he said we could easily walk to Food World just down the street and that they would have everything we want. We headed out to find it, not entirely sure we’d understood his directions.

Food World is not “just down the street.” Food World may be walkable, but it’s quite a distance and a bit intimidating for our first walk. The sidewalks along the way are caving in and filled with garbage. This, along with the sidewalk vendors, requires pedestrians to venture frequently into the street, despite the constant, chaotic, beeping cars and motorbikes coming down the road, and the many other pedestrians vying for the same limited space to walk in. We gave up on Food World when we saw Royal Mart, a small market where we could buy toilet paper and Tide, but nothing else on our list.

Day one ended with an anniversary dinner arranged by Shane, the head of school. The driver sent to take us was excellent and patient, but we didn’t really understand each  other (are you sensing a theme?). Despite a failed first attempt to go to Druid Garden which was closed, we ended up at a truly beautiful restaurant where we had a wonderful meal (see Shangri La) and felt well taken care of.

Day two, we woke up around 6, very pleased with ourselves for sleeping through the night. We had this whole jet lag thing whipped, and it would be smooth sailing from here on out! This turned out not to be true, but it was nice to briefly imagine it was. Around 11, the school sent a bus over for new teachers to come and visit the school and then do some shopping. We were very eager to see the school that brought us here, to meet other teachers and staff, and to finally buy things like hangers and towels. While waiting for the bus, we chatted with some of Tom’s new colleagues, most of whom have taught abroad before – South Korea, Puerto Rico, China, Indonesia, Japan, Cameroon, and other places we may be forgetting. Melissa was a bit surprised, though, to discover that she’s the only “trailing spouse” (yes, that’s what non-teaching spouses are called in the international teaching world – it’s horrible) at least among the new teachers.

The school is lovely and will be the subject of its own post. For now suffice it to say that it will be a very nice place to work.

Our first supermarket experience was at a store called More. We bought towels and a few other things we wanted, but not sheets because they all felt so scratchy or hangers because they all seemed to be child-sized. We also bought some food, but it was weirdly difficult to figure out what to buy. We love to cook but suddenly couldn’t think of anything we wanted to make on our two burners (which at that point we still hadn’t figured out how to ignite). It was flummoxing. We were advised to buy our cheeses and fresh foods at Nature’s Basket, which felt more familiar, but came at a premium.

Such a relief to have the previous night’s delicious leftovers so we could go another day without tackling cooking!

Day three began after a very fitful night’s sleep. Tom took the big step of testing the walk to school which he’d mapped using google map satellite images. Melissa took the smaller step of trying to sleep some more.

At 10, the school sent a bus to take us to the Orion Mall. The mall was a surprise. It is remarkably western – we could shop at Columbia Sportswear, Clarks, Zara, or Sephora; we could eat at Cold Stone Creamery, Krispy Kreme donuts, or Starbucks. What we couldn’t do was buy sheets or towels or laundry baskets or any of the other things on our lists. We were disappointed and headed for the Starbucks meeting point early. Just as we were approaching the time when we would all meet for lunch, some teachers arrived carrying exactly the things we wanted and pointed us toward @Home across the street. It may not sound like a big deal to cross the street, but let us assure you. It is. There are no crosswalks, the cars never actually stop, the motorbikes are coming from all directions, and no one pays any attention to lanes. We were scared, but highly motivated by a desire to sleep that night without fighting over a single twin sheet. We made it (whew!) and checked off half of our list in 15 minutes before reuniting with our group (most of whom had followed us) for a bite to eat at District 6, a local pub.

The food was really good, but the beer was uninspired (at least the pilsners that we ordered – we should give other varieties another chance). The environment was great, though, and we had a very good time. That night, with some advice about our burners, we managed to make mediocre pasta for dinner and stayed up all the way until 7:45, before shuffling toward bed. This jet lag thing is a drag.

Day four (Thursday, 8/3), we experienced an important rite of passage for all foreigners living in India – a trip to the Foreign Regional Registration Office, commonly called the FRRO. All long-term foreigners must register with the FRRO within 14 days of arrival. Failure to do this would jeopardize our ability to renew our one-year visas next year, but more importantly, the FRRO paperwork is required to open a bank account, stay at a hotel, and other official things as well. Swamy from CIS got all of our paperwork in order, but we were all thoroughly confused about what was happening and how it was supposed to happen. I suspect that was the case for many of the strangers in that bleak room. The FRRO office is on the fifth floor of what looks like a nearly windowless building from the outside, filled with bureaucratic offices. Once inside, it is the kind of gloomy set-up that makes you instantly sad. It is entirely lit by low-wattage fluorescent bulbs – good for the environment, bad for the psyche. Along one wall was a row of desks with FRRO workers seated behind plastic screens with holes in them. The clusters of flowers and otherwise festive balloons hanging from the ceiling at five foot intervals somehow just made it sadder. There are no signs in the FRRO to tell you the process, and the guys at the metal detector are not informative. We don’t know why, but we were processed very quickly – we were called up to receive our magical pieces of paper before some members of our group even began the process. In 30 minutes, we were back outside, while some were there another five hours.

This was followed by mall experience #2: UB City. This mall is filled by stores we would never visit in normal life – Jimmy Choo, Rolex, and Louis Vuitton – and is clearly reserved for the “haves.” Outside, a big billboard for a women’s clothing store reads,

“If you have it, you need a store that has it all,” which really seemed to say it all. The top level is the fanciest food court you’ve ever seen with small, swanky restaurants open to a courtyard with a fountain. We ended up at Toscano where we had pretty good Italian food, something we didn’t expect to find in Bangalore. A nice big, late lunch meant we could happily have some cheese and crackers for dinner that night before crawling toward bed while it was still light out. Our dearest fantasies are now about sleeping at night and feeling fully awake during the day.

End Note: To Clean or Not to Clean

There seems to be a clear expectation here that we will hire housecleaning and cooking help. Women can be hired for as much as six days a week or as little as one. They may just clean, or they may also cook, wash and iron laundry, and provide childcare as well. It’s a dilemma for us. With Melissa not working full time, we hadn’t imagine hiring help. On the other hand, it’s really affordable and seems to be expected. And on yet a third hand, Melissa did not come to India thinking, “Gee, I really hope I get to spend more time cleaning the house in India!” If you’re keeping track, that’s basically two hands against one, so we’ll be hiring someone initially to clean two days a week and cook once a week. This will cost about $47 a month.

On July 31 at 5 am, after about 30 hours of traveling, we saw our new apartment for the first time.

We had corresponded for weeks with Premanand, the facilities manager for the school who also manages apartment assignment and maintenance. The school would provide us with a furnished 2 bedroom flat, but we had the option of paying the difference for a three bedroom unit (about $94/month) to allow Melissa to have a functioning home office even when we have guests. We asked Prem to find us a 3 bedroom flat on a higher floor because we assumed that (a) we would have more of a breeze on a higher floor, (b) we would have a greater sense of privacy on a higher floor, and (c) there would be fewer spiders on a higher floor (very important to Melissa). First he offered a 3-bedroom on the 2^nd floor, so we checked our assumptions with him before committing. He responded, “No worries of the spider – breeze will be less comparing with higher flats,” and committed to looking again. “No worries of the spider” became something of a catch phrase through the rest of our packing time, but provided little comfort to Melissa who wasn’t sure what that meant! A week later, Prem had found us a 3-bedroom unit on the 11^th floor, and we took it.

While we generally tried not to build up our expectations about things, it was hard not to do that when it came to our home. The apartment complex has a website, so we were able to look at furnished model units, and we were excited. We pictured  moving into something like an Airbnb, or maybe an apartment recently vacated by another teacher and all set up for our needs. The reality is a bit more stark. We have a lot of space, but very little in it. Our floors are all bare, beige tile. Our walls are a uniform beige except in the fully tiled bathrooms.

The layout is nice and open. You enter into a hallway/entryway with a door to the right into a guest room with its own ensuite bathroom (Hey, guests! You’ll have your own private space when you come to visit!). It’s not fancy, but we’ll add a bed and make it comfortable.

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The hallway opens into a living room/dining room space with a large balcony with 4 foot walls framed in with mosquito netting.

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Off the dining area is the kitchen which has a door at the end that opens to a small utility balcony with a washing machine and shelves. This is framed by what we now know to be monkey netting (we haven’t yet seen any monkeys, but we’re really excited about the possibility!).

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Toward the back of the apartment is a bathroom to the right, a guest room (and likely office for Melissa), and the master bedroom with its own bathroom. Off the master bedroom is another balcony, but it’s been entirely closed in with windows. That might be a nice kind of solarium if not for the fact that the AC for the apartment is located in the master bedroom with it’s motor in that small closed area – it’s crazy hot in there when closed up! Maybe we’ll eventually adjust to the heat and do without the AC. The ceiling fans in every room really help.

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Our furnishings consist of:

• a super-firm, matching couch and two chairs in the living room with a small end table
• a dining room table with four chairs – perfectly nice
• in our bedroom, a queen size bed with a mattress only slightly more cushy than a carpeted floor, and a large wardrobe
• in the first guest room, a similarly cushy twin bed with a desk unit with shelves, and a wardrobe
• in the second guest room, a dresser (no bed)
• The kitchen has 4 plastic plates, 4 small glasses, 4 mugs, 4 forks and knives, 6 spoons, one non-stick frying pan, one plastic lidded thing lined with a metal insert (no idea what to do with that), 2 carving knives, a peeler/corer, and a “coffee buddy” that lets you make one cup of coffee at a time directly in a mug. We have two gas burners, a microwave, a fridge, and a filtered water dispenser.

Note that there is no mention of linens because there aren’t any beyond one slightly scratchy flat sheet on each bed with a blanket. For the first two nights we put both blankets under the flat sheet to add a little more softness, covered them with a flat queen sheet folded around the mattress, and covered ourselves with a twin flat sheet. Melissa is not known for her good sheet sharing, so it was a bit challenging. We also had to use Tom’s long sleeve T-shirts as towels and showered without shower curtains – luckily the full tiling meant the bathroom was prepared for that.

The folks from the school really are trying to take good care of us and had stocked the kitchen with necessities: coffee, tea, milk, bread, eggs, peanut butter, apples (which we were told to soak in water with vinegar for 2-3 minutes before eating), juice, and cheese spread. We were grateful to be able to feed ourselves on the first day.

The apartment complex is lovely and we enjoyed our first walk around the grounds after an early nap on our first day. There’s a gate with full-time guards which is a new and slightly off-putting experience for us. Within the walls, it’s really clean with a straight path all around the buildings and a more meandering path that winds through the foliage – beautiful flowering things everywhere and more butterflies than we’ve seen in one place outside of an enclosed butterfly garden. Women in brightly colored saris are always along the paths, gardening or sweeping the walkways with these short brooms. There is a beautiful pool in the center of the complex right next to the badminton net. Next to that is the club house which has an open room for parties on the ground floor, a ping pong table and pool table on the 1^st floor, a fitness center with cardio and weight machines on the 2^nd floor, and a mirrored room where the security guard says there are Zumba classes (Melissa is delighted by this news!). We’ve seen someone walking with a yoga mat in that general direction so we wonder about other kinds of classes as well.

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The complex next door is related to ours and has a small supermarket – more like a convenience store. This is particularly important for the water since we can’t drink (or brush our teeth in) what comes out of the tap. We can order a replacement jug any time and they will rapidly replace it. Big relief to figure that out!

We had wondered if this complex would feel like a closed ex-pat community, but it really doesn’t. Other than the new CIS teachers we’ve met, all the other residents seem to be Indian. We’ve read that only about 30-40% of the residents of Bangalore are from Bangalore so they may be from other parts of India, but we won’t have any idea until we start making friends. Most people seem to avoid eye contact, but some neighbors down the hall have waved at us so we have hope of getting through the barriers and actually getting to know the people around us.

We have a lot of shopping and “homemaking” to do, but have no doubt that this will be a very nice place to live.

Minor quirks of note:

There are switches everywhere – every outlet has its own switch, plus switches for ceiling fans, lights, hot water heater, and AC. Weirdly challenging that they all seem to turn on in what would be the off position at home.

Brownouts are real – we’ve had two so far that we know about, although the building generator kicks in for essentials pretty quickly and power is then restored within about 15 minutes. We need to buy some big, bulky UPS devices to ensure that our electronics don’t get fried, though.