After a couple failed attempts, we finally made it to Druid Garden. Our expectations were overly high. Shane (Tom’s Head of School) intended to send us there for our anniversary (it was closed so we ended up at Saffron instead), and everybody seems to indicate it is their go-to for a nice, festive night out. In fact, Tom’s colleagues had been the night before, and one of them, Ivana, was very excited for us to try the Vietnamese salad rolls.
When we thought we were going there for our anniversary, while we were still in Portland, we looked at their menu on-line, so we already had a good idea about Druid Garden’s most notable characteristic: a multicultural breadth neither of us had ever seen. They serve Italian, American, Southeast Asian, Latin American, and Indian.
Despite the vast size of the place, it is really very warm. Though there is one large main space, there are a number of smaller, more intimate spaces, as well. We were seated in a secluded little section at a window overlooking the surrounding neighborhood of Sahakanagar, which was lovely, except that we were afraid we were forgotten. Melissa had a nice view of a very large TV, from which she got not only an intro to the ubiquitous cricket, but also an intro to kabaddi, a sport we had been told was basically full contact tag and is a very popular professional sport in India.
And then came the food. We went with a multinational spread: the Vietnamese spring rolls Ivana suggested; leak, corn, and emmenthaler empanadas; and a margherita pizza. We also had their own IPA.
All of it was good, if unremarkable. We will return for the festive, friendly environment and the reliably decent food, but won’t again anticipate a fine dining experience.
Before the big move, I had a bit of a panic when I thought about my potential isolation in Bangalore.
How would I meet people if I wasn’t working? How would I learn how to function in a strange country if I couldn’t meet anyone? How could I be happy in Bangalore if I couldn’t figure out how to function on a daily basis?!
In my panic, I turned to the internet. I searched for meet-up groups, hiking groups, language classes, art classes, and lots of other search terms besides. One group popped up a number of times: The Overseas Women’s Club of Bangalore. The first couple times, I ignored it. The name made it sound like some kind of imperialist remnant, which was not what I was looking for. Finally, though, I clicked and was intrigued by what I read. The group has a lot of social opportunities, but also a focus on “giving back to the city that so warmly welcomed us,” by supporting 21 charities around the city with both money and time. This group might be able to help me find both friends and a sense of purpose! It was at least worth checking it out.
Fast forward to my first Thursday home alone, and I was ready for the weekly morning coffee at the Leela Palace. I had prearranged for Madesh, the taxi driver recommended to us by CIS, to pick me up – when I asked him what time he’d need to get me in order to have me at the Leela Palace at 10, he said 8 am. I was surprised he thought it would take so long, but it actually did take an hour and a half, and clearly could have taken longer if not for his fancy (i.e., vaguely terrifying) driving!
I arrived half an hour early and walked into the most beautiful place I think I’ve ever been in my entire life. The Leela Palace is truly gorgeous. A young woman walked me to the Library Bar as I’d been told that the OWC would be meeting just outside – she was very concerned that the bar would not be opening until 11, but I assured her that I was fine and needed no more assistance.
I wandered around awkwardly, taking photos, and looking about for women who looked as lost as me. At 10, I realized that the meeting was actually in the courtyard through the doors across from the Library Bar and women were beginning to gather there.
I was instantly welcomed after heading outside and began to be introduced around to the early arrivals – a woman from Singapore who has lived in Bangalore for many years, a woman from the US who moved here with her Indian husband nine years ago (intending to stay for two), a woman from the UK, and two women from Japan. One of the Japanese women was there for the first time, having arrived in Bangalore two days after me. The two of us sat with Meredith, the American woman who has a leadership role with the OWC. She told us all about the different kinds of meetings and events we can participate in and gave me membership materials. She’ll be at the Canadian International School next Thursday for new student orientation, when there are lots of new international parents also seeking orientation to the city. I can send my orientation materials to school with Tom to pass off to her.
I then went to talk with a woman on the Charity Committee who could tell me about opportunities to volunteer. She was able to pull up a map of the charities they work with and recommended a couple that are based in Yelehanka where we live: the Bangalore Eduational Trust which runs a free school for poor, rural children and the Sai Shankar Loving Lights Trust which runs a residential program that provides education and life skills for 50 disadvantaged teens. I’m not ready to make a commitment yet, but I’m so glad to know that there are some good options when I am.
I then made my way over to a group of women sitting in the corner – one from Sweden, one from the UK, one from New Zealand, and one from New York. From what I gathered, they are all here in Bangalore because their husbands are working here and they are not. They all seemed smart and kind and are all very much enjoying this city. They also had some good tips for me – for example, apparently everyone who leaves the country takes an empty suitcase with them that they bring back filled with large blocks of cheese and other tasty foods that aren’t available here. If you don’t want your bag to be carefully searched, just put a layer of tampons on the top. Lesson learned. It was nice to talk freely about the things that I’m unsure of (should we really be doing the grocery shopping online?) or confused by (why does it take a million years to have a functioning phone?) or worried about (is it possible that I won’t be added to Tom’s bank account?) and get answers from women who have been there and already grappled with these very things.
While the coffee meeting was pleasant, I’m really looking forward to my first regional coffee – the Leela Palace coffee is weekly and brings women from all corners of Bangalore while the four regional coffees are monthly and take place in different parts of the city. These are smaller and more intimate so it’s possible to actually make friends. Once I’m a member, I’ll get info on all my other options too – regional coffees, the book club, the sundowners happy hour group, the monthly lunch group, and the monthly road trip group. I was glad to be able to assure Tom’s colleagues that this is not a group of “bitter women” who gather to complain, but actually a group of happy, interesting people who are enjoying the chance to delve into a new culture. I think the OWC can keep me as busy as I want to be, but I’m also starting to turn my mind to work.
Tom’s orientation began on Friday and only allowed for a one-day weekend this week, so we wanted to make the most of it. At the same time, we were still fighting the jet lag, and Tom had had two days of focused attention as he took in a barrage of information and met a lot of new people. So, this week, “the most” meant a relatively relaxing outing.
We started the day by calling Madesh, the driver recommended by the school. He has a number of drivers who work for him, and they can all be trusted to get you where you want to go when you want to go there. Uber is supposed to be a good alternative, but until we have fully functioning phones with data plans, we can’t use it (and frankly, we’re just not fans of Uber anyway). We requested a 10 am pick-up and said we’d want the driver until mid-afternoon. At 10 am, we met Anand at the gate to our apartment and asked him to take us to Koshy’s downtown (See: Koshy’s). Traffic was really light so we are filing away the notion that Sunday may be the best day for heading into city center.
With a wonderful breakfast behind us, we walked to Cubbon Park, referred to as one of Bangalore’s “lungs”. It’s a lovely green space filled with trees, flowering plants, fountains, and playgrounds. It’s also home to the library (which was hot, silent, and packed with studying students) and surrounded by government buildings. There’s a drive through the center of it, which is closed to cars on Sundays. It’s also apparently closed every day from 5 am to 8 am when the park is kept silent. If it didn’t require a driver to get there, it would be a great spot for early morning meditation.
From there, we returned to UB City to buy Melissa a phone at the Samsung store. The store clerks were all kind and helpful, but strangely insistent that Melissa sit at all times. Any time she stood, to bring a credit card over for example, she was quickly ushered back to her seat and offered water. The intentions were clearly good, but it was a little oppressive. It will be interesting to see if that’s the norm elsewhere as well. Melissa loves her new Galaxy S8 – it’s so pretty and so powerful!
It was now a little before 2 and we called Anand to pick us up, which he did just a short while later. We asked him to take us to a supermarket that we’d read about called Loyal Market, and Tom showed him on his google maps where it is. Anand confidently headed out while Tom followed the route on his phone. When Anand seemed to turn away from it, we were concerned, but he insisted through limited English that he knew where he was going. He actually pulled up at the Royal Mart, sister store to the one we walked to on our first day. Luckily, this was a much bigger store and we accomplished most of our list, including everything we needed to make our own chana masala at home that night. Here, rather than oppressive assistance, the clerks at Royal Mart were incredibly helpful. Every time we had a question, someone was nearby to help. What really got them excited was when we, who were clearly out of our element, made it clear that we didn’t want the chana masala spice blend but the spices to make our own. In addition to the team of clerks, a fellow shopper found the amchur powder for us, as he was clearly enjoying eavesdropping on our quest.
And dinner was delicious! A perfect end to a perfect day.
For our first meal out on our own at a restaurant we found all on our own, we decided to go to Koshy’s for brunch on our first Sunday in Bengaluru.
Koshy’s first opened its doors in 1940, so it’s been around a while. Melissa had read about it while researching places to go in Bengaluru – while no one lists it as their favorite restaurant, everyone feels compelled to give it a nod, referring to “good old Koshy’s” as a stand-by. When Tom described to his peers that we had been, they had the same unenthusiastic but respectful reaction.
The menu looked ok and the prices affordable, so we thought it would be a good first breakfast out. It definitely has a sort of dimly lit, by-gone charm, and it was packed, which is always a good sign. We enjoyed a dish that was totally new to us, the Sunday special of Appom with vegetable stew, after seeing people around us eating it. Appom are large pancakes that are very thin around the edges and very thick in the middle so they almost look stuffed. They are made from rice flour and coconut milk (gluten and dairy free!), and they are really delicious. The only thing we could equate them to is the Ethiopian bread, injera, but the similarities are really as thin as the outer portions. The accompanying vegetable stew was mild with a coconut milk base and potatoes, carrots, and green beans in it. The combo was delightful. We also enjoyed a cheese omelette (it was cold — we wonder if this is the norm), toast, and coffee.
When trying new restaurants, we always wonder about the Delhi Belly risk. We were, after all, the only white people there for most of time. Our worry was nonsense. It was a delightful meal.
Tom and I were both worried that I’d struggle once he started orientation at the Canadian International School. He’s used to having summers off, to being home alone while I go off to work, but I’ve never before been the one at home. Would I be bored or lonely? Would I feel useless or sad? Nope. None of that.
My first day on my own was kind of perfect. I had time to think my own thoughts, to research things I was curious about, to exercise (just a little), to tidy up and putter. When I was tired of my own thoughts and poking at productivity, I had the Gilmore Girls to keep me company. Any time I felt guilty at not doing more, I reminded myself that I’d been saying for months that I needed some time off, and this was it. This, right now, is my long-anticipated time off, and I need to appreciate it while I have it.
A highlight of the day was when I went for a stroll outside and met three little girls who live in my building – two of them at the end of the hall on the floor where we live and the third two floors down. Mimi, Ruchi, and Suchi are vivacious and excited about everything. Once I let them know that I was very happy to be talking with them, the questions started to fly: Are you from England? Where’s Uncle? Is he a boss? Can we see your apartment? I invited them up, but there’s not much to see here yet so I think it may have been disappointing. Nonetheless, they squeal, “Auntie! Auntie!” and wave wildly when they see me, so I’m pretty sure we’re friends now.
Moving anywhere new necessitates a period of awkward adjustment. Moving between cities (or even just neighborhoods) in the US means finding your closest grocery store, your closest bank, your new favorite restaurant, your favorite walking path, etc. That’s all true with our move to India, as well, but everything is heightened somehow by our own general bafflement about how to do anything combined with the persistent jet lag fatigue.
We knew on arrival that we had four days to create some semblance of a home before Tom would start full-time orientation at the Canadian International School (CIS), and we were determined to accomplish basic unpacking, initial settling in, and finding our way to key places before then.
Day one (July 31) was challenging. We were exhausted from our 5 am arrival. We had headaches from 30 hours of avoiding caffeine in hopes of sleeping while traveling, and we were generally feeling a bit lost. We quickly set about making coffee and making a plan, using a sticky note system since that was the only paper we could easily find before fully unpacking. In the midst of the planning, the doorbell started ringing, which made showering and dressing suddenly extra important.
At home, the doorbell almost never rings unexpectedly. If it does, it’s probably Jehovah’s Witnesses, kids selling cookie dough, or someone who wants to talk to us about the environment. Here, it rings multiple times a day. The first ring was a woman who handed Tom a newspaper, but whom we otherwise didn’t understand (now we know that she comes every day to pick up garbage, recycling, and food waste and will ring the bell if we don’t put it outside our door for her). The next ring was a lovely young woman offering to clean our apartment (See endnote). She was the first of three to stop by over the course of the first two days, all with references from previous teachers. The third ring was Ranginath from the school, bringing a man to connect our internet. We were expected to select our internet plan based on our home data needs which we don’t know at all. We settled on the top option which will cost less than $24 per month. We can downgrade next month if that seems excessive, but how will we know if it’s excessive? Unfortunately, the internet guy found a problem when he tried to get our internet set up (one of so many things that we didn’t understand) so they told us they’d be back in 20 minutes. Apparently in India, that is not a specific length of time but rather a way to “some time later.”
Over an hour after the internet guy left, we realized that 20 minutes does not mean 20 minutes (we’ve since learned that 2 minutes does not mean 2 minutes either). Desperate to walk about our apartment complex, we left a note on our door and headed out, with a stop to tour the clubhouse with a very friendly security guard. Getting a sense of our immediate surroundings helped tremendously with our feelings of anxious displacement.
When we returned 30 minutes later, there was Ranginath with a big smile, telling us that the internet guy had just headed upstairs. Chatting with Ranginath, we learned that he left school after 10th grade and speaks five languages, including English which he learned entirely from talking to teachers at the school where he’s worked for the last 12 years. We probably understand about 70% of what he says — enough for the gist, but we miss a lot of the details. We asked him where to buy things we urgently needed, and he said we could easily walk to Food World just down the street and that they would have everything we want. We headed out to find it, not entirely sure we’d understood his directions.
Food World is not “just down the street.” Food World may be walkable, but it’s quite a distance and a bit intimidating for our first walk. The sidewalks along the way are caving in and filled with garbage. This, along with the sidewalk vendors, requires pedestrians to venture frequently into the street, despite the constant, chaotic, beeping cars and motorbikes coming down the road, and the many other pedestrians vying for the same limited space to walk in. We gave up on Food World when we saw Royal Mart, a small market where we could buy toilet paper and Tide, but nothing else on our list.
Day one ended with an anniversary dinner arranged by Shane, the head of school. The driver sent to take us was excellent and patient, but we didn’t really understand each other (are you sensing a theme?). Despite a failed first attempt to go to Druid Garden which was closed, we ended up at a truly beautiful restaurant where we had a wonderful meal (see Shangri La) and felt well taken care of.
Day two, we woke up around 6, very pleased with ourselves for sleeping through the night. We had this whole jet lag thing whipped, and it would be smooth sailing from here on out! This turned out not to be true, but it was nice to briefly imagine it was. Around 11, the school sent a bus over for new teachers to come and visit the school and then do some shopping. We were very eager to see the school that brought us here, to meet other teachers and staff, and to finally buy things like hangers and towels. While waiting for the bus, we chatted with some of Tom’s new colleagues, most of whom have taught abroad before – South Korea, Puerto Rico, China, Indonesia, Japan, Cameroon, and other places we may be forgetting. Melissa was a bit surprised, though, to discover that she’s the only “trailing spouse” (yes, that’s what non-teaching spouses are called in the international teaching world – it’s horrible) at least among the new teachers.
The school is lovely and will be the subject of its own post. For now suffice it to say that it will be a very nice place to work.
Our first supermarket experience was at a store called More. We bought towels and a few other things we wanted, but not sheets because they all felt so scratchy or hangers because they all seemed to be child-sized. We also bought some food, but it was weirdly difficult to figure out what to buy. We love to cook but suddenly couldn’t think of anything we wanted to make on our two burners (which at that point we still hadn’t figured out how to ignite). It was flummoxing. We were advised to buy our cheeses and fresh foods at Nature’s Basket, which felt more familiar, but came at a premium.
Such a relief to have the previous night’s delicious leftovers so we could go another day without tackling cooking!
Day three began after a very fitful night’s sleep. Tom took the big step of testing the walk to school which he’d mapped using google map satellite images. Melissa took the smaller step of trying to sleep some more.
At 10, the school sent a bus to take us to the Orion Mall. The mall was a surprise. It is remarkably western – we could shop at Columbia Sportswear, Clarks, Zara, or Sephora; we could eat at Cold Stone Creamery, Krispy Kreme donuts, or Starbucks. What we couldn’t do was buy sheets or towels or laundry baskets or any of the other things on our lists. We were disappointed and headed for the Starbucks meeting point early. Just as we were approaching the time when we would all meet for lunch, some teachers arrived carrying exactly the things we wanted and pointed us toward @Home across the street. It may not sound like a big deal to cross the street, but let us assure you. It is. There are no crosswalks, the cars never actually stop, the motorbikes are coming from all directions, and no one pays any attention to lanes. We were scared, but highly motivated by a desire to sleep that night without fighting over a single twin sheet. We made it (whew!) and checked off half of our list in 15 minutes before reuniting with our group (most of whom had followed us) for a bite to eat at District 6, a local pub.
The food was really good, but the beer was uninspired (at least the pilsners that we ordered – we should give other varieties another chance). The environment was great, though, and we had a very good time. That night, with some advice about our burners, we managed to make mediocre pasta for dinner and stayed up all the way until 7:45, before shuffling toward bed. This jet lag thing is a drag.
Day four (Thursday, 8/3), we experienced an important rite of passage for all foreigners living in India – a trip to the Foreign Regional Registration Office, commonly called the FRRO. All long-term foreigners must register with the FRRO within 14 days of arrival. Failure to do this would jeopardize our ability to renew our one-year visas next year, but more importantly, the FRRO paperwork is required to open a bank account, stay at a hotel, and other official things as well. Swamy from CIS got all of our paperwork in order, but we were all thoroughly confused about what was happening and how it was supposed to happen. I suspect that was the case for many of the strangers in that bleak room. The FRRO office is on the fifth floor of what looks like a nearly windowless building from the outside, filled with bureaucratic offices. Once inside, it is the kind of gloomy set-up that makes you instantly sad. It is entirely lit by low-wattage fluorescent bulbs – good for the environment, bad for the psyche. Along one wall was a row of desks with FRRO workers seated behind plastic screens with holes in them. The clusters of flowers and otherwise festive balloons hanging from the ceiling at five foot intervals somehow just made it sadder. There are no signs in the FRRO to tell you the process, and the guys at the metal detector are not informative. We don’t know why, but we were processed very quickly – we were called up to receive our magical pieces of paper before some members of our group even began the process. In 30 minutes, we were back outside, while some were there another five hours.
This was followed by mall experience #2: UB City. This mall is filled by stores we would never visit in normal life – Jimmy Choo, Rolex, and Louis Vuitton – and is clearly reserved for the “haves.” Outside, a big billboard for a women’s clothing store reads,
“If you have it, you need a store that has it all,” which really seemed to say it all. The top level is the fanciest food court you’ve ever seen with small, swanky restaurants open to a courtyard with a fountain. We ended up at Toscano where we had pretty good Italian food, something we didn’t expect to find in Bangalore. A nice big, late lunch meant we could happily have some cheese and crackers for dinner that night before crawling toward bed while it was still light out. Our dearest fantasies are now about sleeping at night and feeling fully awake during the day.
End Note: To Clean or Not to Clean
There seems to be a clear expectation here that we will hire housecleaning and cooking help. Women can be hired for as much as six days a week or as little as one. They may just clean, or they may also cook, wash and iron laundry, and provide childcare as well. It’s a dilemma for us. With Melissa not working full time, we hadn’t imagine hiring help. On the other hand, it’s really affordable and seems to be expected. And on yet a third hand, Melissa did not come to India thinking, “Gee, I really hope I get to spend more time cleaning the house in India!” If you’re keeping track, that’s basically two hands against one, so we’ll be hiring someone initially to clean two days a week and cook once a week. This will cost about $47 a month.
On our first night in Bangalore, we were exhausted, but there was no way that we were going to stay home and overlook the fact that it was also our sixth wedding anniversary. This was a big day!
After a bit of confusion about where we were going (our intended celebration spot, Druid Garden, is closed on Mondays), our driver Marthi pulled up to the Shangri La, a beautiful, opulent, 5-star hotel. Before entering, we had to walk through a metal detector – this seemed odd at the time, but we now know that it’s a normal part of life here. In the lobby was a beautifully dressed woman who offered assistance. We told her that we wanted to have dinner and she told us about our five options there: a buffet on the first floor, a Chinese restaurant on a lower floor, or one of three restaurants on the 18th floor. Without choosing a restaurant, we knew we wanted a view so the 18th floor sounded right to us. She escorted us to the elevator and pushed the button for us.
When we got off, there were five women in stunning saris standing there in a line, asking where we wanted to go. We said that we were interested in seeing menus and one of them told us about our options including a Mediterranean restaurant, a Japanese restaurant, and Saffron, an Indian restaurant. We looked at each other silently agreed that was what we wanted for our first night in India. As she walked us down the long hall, we told her we’d just arrived in Bangalore at 3 am that morning and that it was our anniversary.
We were immediately seated in the beautiful dining room right next to a table covered in rose petals – a couple that had clearly planned ahead for their anniversary arrived shortly thereafter.
The meal was wonderful. We wanted only one glass of wine each, given that we were already struggling to keep our eyes fully opened, and we wanted it to be Indian wine. The waiter brought us tastes of a 2016 Cabernet-Shiraz from Grover Vineyards, about an hour north of us, and a 2015 Sangiovese from KRSMA in Hampi, quite a bit north of us, but still in the state of Karnataka. Both wines tasted young and had an unusual minerality, but the Sangiovese was a bit smoother and we both chose that one.
The menu was organized by regions of India, something you’d never see in the states. They had two different vegetarian prix fixe meals (oh, the joy of being a vegetarian in South India!) and we considered them, but decided that we really wanted to choose for ourselves. We started with a stuffed paneer appetizer unlike anything we’ve had before and incredibly delicious. It consisted of rounds of paneer sandwiching a spicy tomato chutney, coated in spices, and then cooked in the tandoor. Yum! Because we wanted to have something familiar, we selected the ghobi muttar and vegetable biryani which were both outstanding. For the final dish, we wanted to try something local and our waiter suggested a Karnatakan vegetable stew in coconut milk. To round out the meal, we ordered one naan and one paratha. The waiter wanted to know what kind of paratha, the one from Kerala or another one. Not knowing the difference, we floundered and ended up with both. These breads were flaky and delicious enough to just eat by themselves.
We were far too full to finish and they offered to “parcel” our food. After declining dessert, our waiter returned with a lovely chocolaty anniversary cake and asked to take our picture with it. We could only manage one bite each before having that parceled as well, but we were really touched by the gesture.
While the restaurant was far from empty, Mondays are slow nights everywhere, and that was certainly the case here. Our service was very attentive and sometimes a bit intrusive, but generally charming. They clearly cared that we enjoy our meal.
We can easily imagine returning again for a special occasion.
On our way out, there was lots of hubbub in the lobby and outside. It seems that a Bollywood star was on the way and people were gathering for a glimpse! We didn’t see the actor, but did get to admire some gorgeous clothing. All of the women were wearing bright, embroidered, sequined works of art. Melissa felt drab in comparison, wearing a simple floral dress which had previously seemed colorful.
On July 31 at 5 am, after about 30 hours of traveling, we saw our new apartment for the first time.
We had corresponded for weeks with Premanand, the facilities manager for the school who also manages apartment assignment and maintenance. The school would provide us with a furnished 2 bedroom flat, but we had the option of paying the difference for a three bedroom unit (about $94/month) to allow Melissa to have a functioning home office even when we have guests. We asked Prem to find us a 3 bedroom flat on a higher floor because we assumed that (a) we would have more of a breeze on a higher floor, (b) we would have a greater sense of privacy on a higher floor, and (c) there would be fewer spiders on a higher floor (very important to Melissa). First he offered a 3-bedroom on the 2nd floor, so we checked our assumptions with him before committing. He responded, “No worries of the spider – breeze will be less comparing with higher flats,” and committed to looking again. “No worries of the spider” became something of a catch phrase through the rest of our packing time, but provided little comfort to Melissa who wasn’t sure what that meant! A week later, Prem had found us a 3-bedroom unit on the 11th floor, and we took it.
While we generally tried not to build up our expectations about things, it was hard not to do that when it came to our home. The apartment complex has a website, so we were able to look at furnished model units, and we were excited. We pictured moving into something like an Airbnb, or maybe an apartment recently vacated by another teacher and all set up for our needs. The reality is a bit more stark. We have a lot of space, but very little in it. Our floors are all bare, beige tile. Our walls are a uniform beige except in the fully tiled bathrooms.
The layout is nice and open. You enter into a hallway/entryway with a door to the right into a guest room with its own ensuite bathroom (Hey, guests! You’ll have your own private space when you come to visit!). It’s not fancy, but we’ll add a bed and make it comfortable.
The hallway opens into a living room/dining room space with a large balcony with 4 foot walls framed in with mosquito netting.
Off the dining area is the kitchen which has a door at the end that opens to a small utility balcony with a washing machine and shelves. This is framed by what we now know to be monkey netting (we haven’t yet seen any monkeys, but we’re really excited about the possibility!).
Toward the back of the apartment is a bathroom to the right, a guest room (and likely office for Melissa), and the master bedroom with its own bathroom. Off the master bedroom is another balcony, but it’s been entirely closed in with windows. That might be a nice kind of solarium if not for the fact that the AC for the apartment is located in the master bedroom with it’s motor in that small closed area – it’s crazy hot in there when closed up! Maybe we’ll eventually adjust to the heat and do without the AC. The ceiling fans in every room really help.
Our furnishings consist of:
a super-firm, matching couch and two chairs in the living room with a small end table
a dining room table with four chairs – perfectly nice
in our bedroom, a queen size bed with a mattress only slightly more cushy than a carpeted floor, and a large wardrobe
in the first guest room, a similarly cushy twin bed with a desk unit with shelves, and a wardrobe
in the second guest room, a dresser (no bed)
The kitchen has 4 plastic plates, 4 small glasses, 4 mugs, 4 forks and knives, 6 spoons, one non-stick frying pan, one plastic lidded thing lined with a metal insert (no idea what to do with that), 2 carving knives, a peeler/corer, and a “coffee buddy” that lets you make one cup of coffee at a time directly in a mug. We have two gas burners, a microwave, a fridge, and a filtered water dispenser.
Note that there is no mention of linens because there aren’t any beyond one slightly scratchy flat sheet on each bed with a blanket. For the first two nights we put both blankets under the flat sheet to add a little more softness, covered them with a flat queen sheet folded around the mattress, and covered ourselves with a twin flat sheet. Melissa is not known for her good sheet sharing, so it was a bit challenging. We also had to use Tom’s long sleeve T-shirts as towels and showered without shower curtains – luckily the full tiling meant the bathroom was prepared for that.
The folks from the school really are trying to take good care of us and had stocked the kitchen with necessities: coffee, tea, milk, bread, eggs, peanut butter, apples (which we were told to soak in water with vinegar for 2-3 minutes before eating), juice, and cheese spread. We were grateful to be able to feed ourselves on the first day.
The apartment complex is lovely and we enjoyed our first walk around the grounds after an early nap on our first day. There’s a gate with full-time guards which is a new and slightly off-putting experience for us. Within the walls, it’s really clean with a straight path all around the buildings and a more meandering path that winds through the foliage – beautiful flowering things everywhere and more butterflies than we’ve seen in one place outside of an enclosed butterfly garden. Women in brightly colored saris are always along the paths, gardening or sweeping the walkways with these short brooms. There is a beautiful pool in the center of the complex right next to the badminton net. Next to that is the club house which has an open room for parties on the ground floor, a ping pong table and pool table on the 1st floor, a fitness center with cardio and weight machines on the 2nd floor, and a mirrored room where the security guard says there are Zumba classes (Melissa is delighted by this news!). We’ve seen someone walking with a yoga mat in that general direction so we wonder about other kinds of classes as well.
The complex next door is related to ours and has a small supermarket – more like a convenience store. This is particularly important for the water since we can’t drink (or brush our teeth in) what comes out of the tap. We can order a replacement jug any time and they will rapidly replace it. Big relief to figure that out!
We had wondered if this complex would feel like a closed ex-pat community, but it really doesn’t. Other than the new CIS teachers we’ve met, all the other residents seem to be Indian. We’ve read that only about 30-40% of the residents of Bangalore are from Bangalore so they may be from other parts of India, but we won’t have any idea until we start making friends. Most people seem to avoid eye contact, but some neighbors down the hall have waved at us so we have hope of getting through the barriers and actually getting to know the people around us.
We have a lot of shopping and “homemaking” to do, but have no doubt that this will be a very nice place to live.
Minor quirks of note:
There are switches everywhere – every outlet has its own switch, plus switches for ceiling fans, lights, hot water heater, and AC. Weirdly challenging that they all seem to turn on in what would be the off position at home.
Brownouts are real – we’ve had two so far that we know about, although the building generator kicks in for essentials pretty quickly and power is then restored within about 15 minutes. We need to buy some big, bulky UPS devices to ensure that our electronics don’t get fried, though.
Our journey to India has begun. It didn’t start when we arrived in Bengaluru, or even when we stepped on the plane. It started weeks ago with the loving support of family and friends.
As we started preparing, we decided to avoid setting expectations about where we were going or what it would be like – that seemed essential, given that we truly knew next to nothing and really couldn’t imagine it. Any expectation seemed too likely to become a disappointment. When we were alone, that was easy. When anyone was around, it became much more difficult. People are curious when you tell them you’re moving to India, and questions simply come up.
– What will your apartment be like? I don’t know.
– How will you get around? Will you get a car? I don’t know.
– How will your finances work in India? I don’t know.
– What will your classes be like, Tom? I don’t know.
– What are you going to do, Melissa? I don’t know!
We always knew that the questions came with the best of intentions, but the mountain of “I don’t knows” was really intimidating. We’re delighted to finally have some answers. And we have to now acknowledge that our efforts to avoid setting expectations were futile, even if they weren’t spoken.
The emotional preparation was significant and we made sure that we were soaking up love from all our family and friends. In the months before we left, we managed to schedule time with each of our nieces and nephews and goddaughters, visit friends in Seattle, visit friends in LA, be visited by friends from Squamish, and enjoy big and small family gatherings. It was so good to feel that web of support when we were nervous.
At Ellie’s birthday party, we described all of the fun plans we had before taking off. Diane’s brother-in-law Sam was very concerned about how we would get it all done. Logistics started to concern us. While we started some purging in June, we didn’t really accomplish much until after returning from our late June/early July trip. The trip was a delight – taking our nephew Alex to Washington DC and then splitting up for Melissa’s trip to CT, NJ, and NY and Tom’s trip to Hood Canal. When we reconvened on July 8 in Portland, with exactly three weeks until our departure date, a bit of panic set in.
Melissa’s Aunt Linda and Aunt Sue arrived on July 9 and got us on track. By the time they left on July 12, we were feeling so ridiculously confident that we considered bumping up our move date from July 24 to July 21. Luckily, the movers told us they weren’t available. Whew! On July 17, Rachel arrived from Seattle and kept us on track with packing, particularly once Melissa shared her dream of Saturday wine tasting. Even with eight car loads to Goodwill, two big bags to Dress for Success, a truck load to the dump, furniture and random items posted on Next Door, and furniture to Melissa’s brother Jesse, there was a lot to pack. And we did it! By Sunday afternoon we were able to announce to Sam at Benny’s birthday party that we were ready for the Monday morning movers.
Expectation challenge 1: Tom thought the movers would be able to load the truck in about an hour. Melissa thought that it would probably take two hours. In fact, after 4 ½ hours, those hard-working young men had to break the news that the truck was full and they’d have to go unload some stuff before they could finish. In total, it took them over 7 hours to load up at our house and unload into storage space in their warehouse. We were delighted by the care they took in protecting everything with both furniture blankets and shrink-wrap but a bit surprised by the time and expense. Still, we got all of the belongings we planned to take to India over to Tom’s mom Elaine’s house and then made
it to the meet-up point for Tom to sell his car in plenty of time. Mission accomplished! Then we got to enjoy a week of relative relaxation (interrupted by appointments with the dentist, our tax guy, the escrow guy, and various other necessities) before finishing up with a big family dinner the night before we left.
And then the big day came and we headed to the airport!
Expectation challenge 2: We were so nervous about checking seven pieces of luggage all the way through from Portland to Bengaluru, with two airlines involved (Alaska and Emirates) that we wanted to get to the airport really early. We were there before 10:30 am for our 1:50 pm flight, and then checking the bags was effortless. We paid exactly what we expected to pay for three of them, and the guy behind the counter never even raised an eyebrow. Apparently, our life-changing event was not such a big deal for him. Not only that, but we got through security in record time and then had nearly three hours post-security. We spent some of it walking to the end of each concourse before settling on a final US meal at the Laurelwood in E concourse: nachos for Melissa and a veggie burger and fries for Tom. After a bit more restless walking, we boarded the plane and began our journey in earnest: first to Seattle, then to Dubai, then to Bengaluru.
In Seattle, we had one moment of adrenalin when Tom realized that he’d left his phone and Kindle on the seat of the plane after briefly setting them down to lift a carry-on from the overhead bin. We were able to race back to the gate, collect them from some amused gate attendants, and take the three trains to our gate in the international terminal with time to spare.
Expectation challenge 3: We are very used to the notion that one carry-on item really means one carry-on item plus another small thing that you can put at your feet and that weight doesn’t matter. On Emirates Air, neither of those assumptions are true. After hearing an announcement that we could only carry on one piece of luggage each and that those items could weigh no more than seven kilos, we went to ask if we needed to check our roller bags and were told that we most certainly did. Happily, those were checked for free while the other excess bags cost $175 each.
The 14 ½ hour flight from Seattle to Dubai was long. There’s no way around that. We each watched three movies in between dozing, eating, and restless walking from row 20 to the back of the plane on water quests.
Expectation challenge 4: We expected more from the top-rated airline in the world: The food was uninspired, the leg room was as lacking as most American airlines, Melissa’s seat charger didn’t work, and our touchscreens were frustratingly finicky. We were not impressed. Clearly their rating comes from their luxurious first class and business class cabins which we eyed longingly while boarding and disembarking. There was one moment of brief but intense turbulence, during which we held hands across the aisle, but it was otherwise uneventful. One happily met expectation: Thanks to Linda and Sue’s insistence on compression socks, our feet did not swell.
The Dubai airport is huge! They warned us while still on plane that it might take 45
minutes to get to a connecting gate – with 1 ½ hours before boarding, we weren’t worried but didn’t dawdle. It actually took about 15 minutes to get to our empty gate after crossing a cavernous, but largely empty airport. The boarding process was odd – first they announced that the gate was open (first class, business class, and fancy club members to one door and the rest of us to another). As we got to the front of the line, they checked our boarding passes and passports and then sent us into another giant holding area. This room had no restrooms, which was a bit disappointing. After waiting there a while, they began a more usual, structured boarding process for the plane. This time we sat next to each other instead of across the aisle from each other. This flight seemed brief in comparison at only 4 ½ hours, partly because we both fell sound asleep before takeoff. Emirates redeemed themselves a little on this flight with better food and functioning equipment which made for a far nicer experience.
Immigration in Bengaluru was really efficient and we then hustled to baggage claim. The
wait for each piece of luggage was a bit painful, but all nine pieces eventually arrived! Only one box appeared to have been damaged, but its contents were fine – luckily that one was primarily Melissa’s clothes. Customs took two minutes without anyone speaking to us – maybe we should have brought more wine.
Oh, the relief when we stepped out the door of the airport at 3:15 am and saw Shane Kells, head of school at the Canadian International School (CIS), smiling and waving from the end of the row! He introduced us to others from CIS, handed us a bag with a couple sandwiches and diet cokes, and sent us off with Prem (facilities manager) and three other men in CIS shirts who loaded our luggage into a CIS van (no small feat with all of the seats in there) and then loaded us into a car with a quiet young man who drove us to our apartment.
We arrived at our apartment exhausted and overwhelmed, but generally happy to be home.
We’re trying new things. In the past year, we learned to cook Indian food, we attempted Thai food, we bought a sailboat, and, oh, yeah, we committed to moving to Bengaluru, India for two years. We are hoping all kinds of new things are coming our way in the next couple years, and we will try to document those things here, for our own sake and to share our adventures.
We thought we’d get our feet wet with this new little writing adventure by describing our somewhat spontaneous, kind of ridiculous trip to Chicago during the first week in June. Melissa had a meeting on Thursday and Friday, so Tom flew out to meet her on Friday afternoon. The only thing we had planned was an architecture tour on Chicago’s First Lady. This is unusual for us. One of the reasons the two of us travel so well together is that we balance each other out: Melissa is generally the planner; Tom is generally the fly-by-the-seat-of-his-pantser. Together, we tend to plan a lot of fun outings on our trips, but we’re always open to scrapping our plans for interesting things that come along.
Our first dinner was spent at the famous (at least in our family) Lou Malnati’s for some deep dish. We walked from there down to Grant Park. Tom had fun imagining we were walking through the spirit of Obama’s election night. Ah, those were the days. We walked all the way up the lakefront to Navy Pier and up the river a little ways. By then we were worn out and ready to hop the Blue Line back to our hotel.
Saturday’s adventures definitely benefited from being a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants kind of day.
Our only plan was the Architecture tour at 1:00. We surrounded that with all kinds of fun things: Gino’s East for more deep dish, Macy’s to see the tiled dome (and get some clothes appropriate for an event coming up), a walk through Millennium Park, drinks at III Forks (not the rooftop bar we wanted, but Cindy’s was closed for a private event), and a quick shot through Chicago Cultural Center for an exhibit on the doors formerly at Malcolm X Community College. We wrapped up the day with an amazing dinner at Trattoria No. 10.
We were again reminded why it is so important to both plan and roll with things. Our architecture tour was amazing. The Chicago Architecture Foundation puts on a good show. The buildings are amazing, the guides are crazy knowledgeable, and we probably wouldn’t have been able to get tickets if we didn’t plan ahead. We only went to the Cultural Center and Trattoria No. 10 because our tour guide recommended them, and they turned out to be highlights of the weekend. We had a notion that we’d do a deep dish tour of Chicago, but after two very good meals, we figured we’d had enough since we only had a couple more meals left. We hit a good number of things we had hoped to do, though we didn’t have time for all of it — Second City, blues clubs, and Willis Tower, née Sears Tower, will have to wait until next time.
The most important spur of the moment choice was when, on a lark, we remembered that Hamilton was in the middle of a verrrrrrry long run in Chicago, to the point of some people describing it as a second residency. We thought, ‘No way are there tickets. That play never has tickets.’ Lo and behold: there were tickets available! When we realized that we probably wouldn’t see it for years if we didn’t do it now, it kind of felt like a no brainer. The only question was the price. Our Old Pal Dan has a handy metric: the fun-to-money ratio. Let’s just say, it was a bargain! The performances were amazing, and the production lived up to every bit of the hype.
We look forward to our adventures ahead — the huge one we have planned and all of the little ones we are going to ad lib. We’ll try our best to keep you all updated while not boring you with minutiae. It might take a while to find the balance, but we’ll try.
Deep dish: We did end up at two of the highest rated deep dish joints. Much to brother Michael’s chagrin, we definitely were more impressed with Gino’s East. The toppings were fresher, and the crust was more interesting thanks in large part to the cornmeal. In general, neither of us came into the weekend as tremendous fans of the form, and it doesn’t supplant nice thin, Neapolitan pies as our favorites, but we came away with a whole lot more respect.
The Art Institute of Chicago: This isn’t really minutiae, but it didn’t really fit into whatever flimsy narrative we constructed above. It was amazing. We only had time for a couple of sections — we both spent most of our time in the Impressionists exhibits, Tom went to see the Modernists, and Melissa checked out the photography. Tom once again reaffirmed that his favorites are definitely his favorites, even if they are everyone’s favorites — Paul Klee, Monet, van Gogh, and many, many more. Also, the cafe is delicious.