Departures and Arrivals

Our journey to India has begun. It didn’t start when we arrived in Bengaluru, or even when we stepped on the plane. It started weeks ago with the loving support of family and friends.

As we started preparing, we decided to avoid setting expectations about where we were going or what it would be like – that seemed essential, given that we truly knew next to nothing and really couldn’t imagine it. Any expectation seemed too likely to become a disappointment. When we were alone, that was easy. When anyone was around, it became much more difficult. People are curious when you tell them you’re moving to India, and questions simply come up.

– What will your apartment be like? I don’t know.
– How will you get around? Will you get a car? I don’t know.
– How will your finances work in India? I don’t know.
– What will your classes be like, Tom? I don’t know.
– What are you going to do, Melissa? I don’t know!

We always knew that the questions came with the best of intentions, but the mountain of “I don’t knows” was really intimidating. We’re delighted to finally have some answers. And we have to now acknowledge that our efforts to avoid setting expectations were futile, even if they weren’t spoken.

The emotional preparation was significant and we made sure that we were soaking up love from all our family and friends. In the months before we left, we managed to schedule time with each of our nieces and nephews and goddaughters, visit friends in Seattle, visit friends in LA, be visited by friends from Squamish, and enjoy big and small family gatherings. It was so good to feel that web of support when we were nervous.

At Ellie’s birthday party, we described all of the fun plans we had before taking off. Diane’s brother-in-law Sam was very concerned about how we would get it all done. Logistics started to concern us. While we started some purging in June, we didn’t really accomplish much until after returning from our late June/early July trip. The trip was a delight – taking our nephew Alex to Washington DC and then splitting up for Melissa’s trip to CT, NJ, and NY and Tom’s trip to Hood Canal. When we reconvened on July 8 in Portland, with exactly three weeks until our departure date, a bit of panic set in.

Melissa’s Aunt Linda and Aunt Sue arrived on July 9 and got us on track. By the time they left on July 12, we were feeling so ridiculously confident that we considered bumping up our move date from July 24 to July 21. Luckily, the movers told us they weren’t available. Whew! On July 17, Rachel arrived from Seattle and kept us on track with packing, particularly once Melissa shared her dream of Saturday wine tasting. Even with eight car loads to Goodwill, two big bags to Dress for Success, a truck load to the dump, furniture and random items posted on Next Door, and furniture to Melissa’s brother Jesse, there was a lot to pack. And we did it! By Sunday afternoon we were able to announce to Sam at Benny’s birthday party that we were ready for the Monday morning movers.

Expectation challenge 1: Tom thought the movers would be able to load the truck in about an hour. Melissa thought that it would probably take two hours. In fact, after 4 ½ hours, those hard-working young men had to break the news that the truck was full and they’d have to go unload some stuff before they could finish. In total, it took them over 7 hours to load up at our house and unload into storage space in their warehouse. We were delighted by the care they took in protecting everything with both furniture blankets and shrink-wrap but a bit surprised by the time and expense. Still, we got all of the belongings we planned to take to India over to Tom’s mom Elaine’s house and then made

it to the meet-up point for Tom to sell his car in plenty of time. Mission accomplished! Then we got to enjoy a week of relative relaxation (interrupted by appointments with the dentist, our tax guy, the escrow guy, and various other necessities) before finishing up with a big family dinner the night before we left.

And then the big day came and we headed to the airport!

Expectation challenge 2: We were so nervous about checking seven pieces of luggage all the way through from Portland to Bengaluru, with two airlines involved (Alaska and Emirates) that we wanted to get to the airport really early. We were there before 10:30 am for our 1:50 pm flight, and then checking the bags was effortless. We paid exactly what we expected to pay for three of them, and the guy behind the counter never even raised an eyebrow. Apparently, our life-changing event was not such a big deal for him. Not only that, but we got through security in record time and then had nearly three hours post-security. We spent some of it walking to the end of each concourse before settling on a final US meal at the Laurelwood in E concourse: nachos for Melissa and a veggie burger and fries for Tom. After a bit more restless walking, we boarded the plane and began our journey in earnest: first to Seattle, then to Dubai, then to Bengaluru.

In Seattle, we had one moment of adrenalin when Tom realized that he’d left his phone and Kindle on the seat of the plane after briefly setting them down to lift a carry-on from the overhead bin. We were able to race back to the gate, collect them from some amused gate attendants, and take the three trains to our gate in the international terminal with time to spare.

Expectation challenge 3: We are very used to the notion that one carry-on item really means one carry-on item plus another small thing that you can put at your feet and that weight doesn’t matter. On Emirates Air, neither of those assumptions are true. After hearing an announcement that we could only carry on one piece of luggage each and that those items could weigh no more than seven kilos, we went to ask if we needed to check our roller bags and were told that we most certainly did. Happily, those were checked for free while the other excess bags cost $175 each.

The 14 ½ hour flight from Seattle to Dubai was long. There’s no way around that. We each watched three movies in between dozing, eating, and restless walking from row 20 to the back of the plane on water quests.

Expectation challenge 4: We expected more from the top-rated airline in the world: The food was uninspired, the leg room was as lacking as most American airlines, Melissa’s seat charger didn’t work, and our touchscreens were frustratingly finicky. We were not impressed. Clearly their rating comes from their luxurious first class and business class cabins which we eyed longingly while boarding and disembarking. There was one moment of brief but intense turbulence, during which we held hands across the aisle, but it was otherwise uneventful. One happily met expectation: Thanks to Linda and Sue’s insistence on compression socks, our feet did not swell.

The Dubai airport is huge! They warned us while still on plane that it might take 45

minutes to get to a connecting gate – with 1 ½ hours before boarding, we weren’t worried but didn’t dawdle. It actually took about 15 minutes to get to our empty gate after crossing a cavernous, but largely empty airport. The boarding process was odd – first they announced that the gate was open (first class, business class, and fancy club members to one door and the rest of us to another). As we got to the front of the line, they checked our boarding passes and passports and then sent us into another giant holding area. This room had no restrooms, which was a bit disappointing. After waiting there a while, they began a more usual, structured boarding process for the plane. This time we sat next to each other instead of across the aisle from each other. This flight seemed brief in comparison at only 4 ½ hours, partly because we both fell sound asleep before takeoff. Emirates redeemed themselves a little on this flight with better food and functioning equipment which made for a far nicer experience.

Immigration in Bengaluru was really efficient and we then hustled to baggage claim. The

wait for each piece of luggage was a bit painful, but all nine pieces eventually arrived! Only one box appeared to have been damaged, but its contents were fine – luckily that one was primarily Melissa’s clothes. Customs took two minutes without anyone speaking to us – maybe we should have brought more wine.

Oh, the relief when we stepped out the door of the airport at 3:15 am and saw Shane Kells, head of school at the Canadian International School (CIS), smiling and waving from the end of the row! He introduced us to others from CIS, handed us a bag with a couple sandwiches and diet cokes, and sent us off with Prem (facilities manager) and three other men in CIS shirts who loaded our luggage into a CIS van (no small feat with all of the seats in there) and then loaded us into a car with a quiet young man who drove us to our apartment.

We arrived at our apartment exhausted and overwhelmed, but generally happy to be home.

Next post: The Apartment